Week 7/12 of Outreach:

“And now here I am: GOD, my God, you have made me, your servant, ruler of the kingdom in place of David my father. I’m too young for this, a mere child! I don’t know the ropes, hardly know the ‘ins’ and ‘outs’ of this job. And here I am, set down in the middle of the people you’ve chosen, a great people—far too many to ever count.

“Here’s what I want: Give me a God-listening heart so I can lead your people well, discerning the difference between good and evil. For who on their own is capable of leading your glorious people?” (‭1 Kings‬ ‭3‬:‭7-9‬ MSG)

This was the verse that knocked on the door of my heart as we were closing in on the halfway mark for outreach. Being in this season and in this role of being ‘the leader’ of this team that includes 5 nationalities and a range of ages, I’m forced to take a step back. Although I am but a little child. I do not know how to go out or come in. This is not a job or position I have any credentials or degree in that qualifies me, by no means do I have enough experience to be the first pick for the job, I mean I am only 21. That’s what I love about Jesus. Although our human capabilities of trusting something or someone are normally followed by the giving of our hearts and a return of that action; just like His love that is never ending, His trust in us is continuous. Countless times we will fail on this scale that we’ve set up for our personal standard of good > bad, but He never stops believing in who we truly are, the roots of who He created. He knows the flesh is strong, He lived it; but He also knows the heart of the Father, who is gentle, patient, and always championing His creation. The Father heart of God says,

You didn’t choose me, remember; I chose you. (John 15:16 MSG)

And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:18-19 MSG)

What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are. (1 John 3:1 MSG)

So in this season, as difficult and exhausting some days are, I rest in the fact that this isn’t for nothing. He knows my seasons to come, He knows who He created – Me. He knows I won’t handle every situation with a perfect attitude and will react off of a poor impulse every now and then. He knows, that He knows, that He knows, that this was the season for me, a season He FULLY entrusted me with.

Here’s your one chance to look inside my journal of what I’ve been learning through this primal and raw season of discipleship.

“Wow! Discipling is messy, but the times of revelation are so sweet and makes the hard times worth it. We are currently in week 7, and although some more issues could arise, this is the right place for them to come out. If we continually try to focus on serving the outward without healing our inward first, there will always be a disconnect. This outreach is a process of creating and restoring a complete person how the Father sees them, and how they see themselves. Serving the outer world will come naturally once we are sufficient in who we are. I need continual reminders and a change of perspective on how I see outreach. I think it’s meant to be focused on others and how to serve better; but knowing God desires a complete and whole person in friendship with Him. I’m realizing that DTS as a whole (lecture and outreach phase) is the refinement season of that, not just when we’re safe and comfortable learning about Him in the classroom, but when we’re out there, doing it, while we’re figuring out who He is. I’m understanding as of late, that nothing substantial, or any major life-change ever came from anything easy, or that didn’t hurt a little bit.”

Madison (Washington, USA) was a student in the 2016-2017 SBS at YWAM Lausanne and a DTS Staff at YWAM Bridges of Life in 2014-2015.

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